“Do you yearn to RETURN TO THE 90’s and to JEWEL and NSYNC? Your ride’s here. NOSTALGIC for an EMO-LOVING, streaming-free, pre-social-media-outrage era of ACCEPTABLE DECADENCE, amoral cinematic narratives and FANCIFUL SENSUAL DEPRAVITY? ’Cruel Intentions: The 90's Musical’ is here to serve your needs!”